Abuse, violence, and cheating may be common drivers of divorce, but they’re not the only ones. Sometimes, the flames we have for each other burn out. But when partners are driven to divorce, keeping things amicable can feel like you’re swimming upstream.
If you’re going through a divorce in Orange County, these tips will help to keep the peace moving forward. And if you and your spouse can’t reach a friendly place on your own, consider reaching out to an Orange County divorce mediator.
Turn to Your Support Network
In the early stages of your Orange County divorce, when the pain is still fresh, conflict may be high. The support of family and friends can ease the pain and confusion you’re feeling. Beware. Unhelpful opinions from your mother, who’s “never really liked him,” will only make it that much harder to rebuild an amicable relationship with your ex-spouse.
To avoid this, let your people know from the start that you don’t want them to find any fault with your ex and that it doesn’t help your situation. A network that doesn’t point fingers or engage in the “blame game” can keep hostile venting to a minimum, rather than villainizing your ex and risking a heated divorce moving forward.
Write Before You Speak
Writing emails and speaking your mind are two very different animals. On one end, you can take the time to consider your words and allow the recipient to mull them over on their own time. On the flip side, speaking your truth about financials, custody, and other marital matters could risk a heated debate.
Arguments and fallouts are inevitable, but they can be minimized. Turn to email in the most difficult of times or in the most contentious situations before speaking your mind. Keyboards allow for contemplation and more eloquent responses, which can serve to keep your divorce an amicable one.
Don’t Expect Amicability Outright
The first few months of divorce are the most delicate. The uncertainty for the future and freshness of the separation can make you react out of fear, which often leads to disagreements and shouting competitions. Rather than reacting poorly, it’s important to play the long game if amiability is your goal.
To “play the long game,” keep the bigger picture in mind and disregard the “small wins” that’ll satisfy you for a moment. For parents, the bigger picture is typically the children’s happiness and well-being. Fighting to be the custodial parent, for example, when you know how it’ll affect your ex’s livelihood and emotional state, may not be worth a lifetime of animosity. Choose your battles, don’t fight for things just so “they don’t have them,” and consider your long-term goal if you seek a truly amicable divorce in Orange County.
Keep the Peace with an Orange County Divorce Mediator
Contentious divorces require a delicate touch to reach an amicable state. Through divorce mediation, you and your ex-spouse can ensure a peaceful conclusion to your story. At the Law Offices of Jennifer Owens, we revel in the power of choice. When spouses face divorce, they’re presented with a slew of decisions with a handful of potential outcomes. Our attorneys are believers in the best possible outcome, where a former couple chooses peace over destruction so that they can finally move on to their next chapter. No matter your desired path – mediation, a negotiated settlement, or even litigation – The Law Offices of Jennifer Owens will help you achieve the best possible outcome by reaching a settlement that keeps all involved parties in mind. Visit our website to review our family law services, or contact us online for a free consultation.