Moving on post-divorce can feel like a fool’s errand. For most people, it’s likely the rockiest phase of their lives, yet they’re still expected to move forward in a healthy manner. This is especially true if any children are involved since their emotions take priority. On top of all the emotional healing that’s due, there are more practical steps to take care of, such as updating your will, insurance policies, and bank accounts. Most spouses would rather not leave their estate to their ex, after all.
For guidance on moving forward both legally and emotionally post-divorce, take these tips into consideration. And if you’re a co-parent who’s struggling to move on due to parenting struggles, consult an Orange County divorce mediator to draft an airtight parenting plan.
Practically Moving Forward
Aside from the emotional aspect of moving on post-divorce, there are a handful of practical steps to take that aren’t part of the court process. These have to do with your will, insurance policies, and other legal papers between you and your ex-spouse. Here are a few examples of actions to take following the finalization of your Orange County divorce:
- Nix your spouse from your will
- Update your beneficiaries on insurance policies and bank accounts
- Close credit cards containing both of your names
- Inform your employer to change your tax withholding status
- Update beneficiaries in any employee benefits, and update your health insurance
- Change your car title
- Update your legal IDs and other documents, if you’re returning to a former name
By taking these steps, you’re ensuring that your spouse isn’t left with any assets in the event of your death–unless this is something you want. Some spouses will keep their ex on their will primarily to ensure that the kids are taken care of, for example. Closing your joint credit cards will prevent any surprising bills from arriving in the mail, and updating your legal ID will lock in your name change if you so choose.
Divorce, however, isn’t solely practical. While taking these steps, you’re likely in a state of fear, confusion, or even anger at the separation. Whether that anger stems from a hostile marriage or the fear of losing your children, it’s crucial to tend to the emotional aspects of your divorce as well.
Emotionally Moving Forward
After finalizing your Orange County divorce, you and your spouse may breathe sighs of relief. It could be the best thing for not only you two but the rest of the family–but not all cases are the same. Carrying through the stages of divorce is emotionally draining and restricts the mend, but there are some steps you can take to mitigate the pain.
Turn to Your Network
A rock-solid support system can be the difference between a healthy recovery and prolonged pain. During and following your divorce, reach out to your most trusted friends and family members to lift you up. A steady shoulder to cry on can do wonders, but don’t condone bad-mouthing your ex. This can end up working against the healing process, creating further feelings of anger, which can negatively impact any children involved.
Divorce happens for many reasons, from financial disagreements and forgotten love to the worst-case scenario: infidelity. You could feel betrayed, unloved, unappreciated, or an ugly combination of the three. But to truly heal, especially for the family’s sake, finding forgiveness will help you turn the page to the next chapter. Realize that your unhappiness isn’t permanent and that clinging onto past grudges will only slow down the healing process.
Lastly, if you plan on co-parenting your children with your ex-spouse, moving on can be a bit more difficult. You’ll likely see them throughout the week for pick-ups and drop-offs, at school plays, or at the kid’s weekend soccer games. While this can surely stifle the healing process, any remaining feelings of animosity should be checked at the door. If things are too heated, consider minimizing face-to-face interactions and majorly communicating through email. To make the co-parenting relationship work, hostility needs to be sidelined to allow for effective parenting–rather than negatively affecting your children’s relational outlook.
Ease the Pain of Your Orange County Divorce
The divorce process is full of obstacles to moving on post-divorce, from courtroom hearings to the difficulties of co-parenting. However, with the help of an Orange County divorce mediator, you can avoid a judge’s verdict while establishing a bulletproof parenting plan. Request a free consultation to start your co-parenting relationship off on the right foot.
Consult an Orange County Divorce Mediator
Through divorce mediation, you and your ex-spouse can ensure a peaceful conclusion to your story. At the Law Offices of Jennifer Owens, we revel in the power of choice. When spouses face divorce, they’re presented with a slew of decisions with a handful of potential outcomes. Our attorneys are believers in the best possible outcome, where a former couple chooses peace over destruction so that they can finally move on to their next chapter. No matter your desired path – mediation, a negotiated settlement, or even litigation – The Law Offices of Jennifer Owens will help you achieve the best possible outcome by reaching a settlement that keeps all involved parties in mind. Visit our website to review our family law services, or contact us online for a free consultation.