Divorce Mediation: Negotiating a Fair Settlement with Your Spouse

divorce-mediationWhether your divorce is mutual, one-sided, expected, or a blindside, negotiating with an ex-spouse stokes a fire of mixed emotions. Regardless, when you’ve chosen the route of divorce mediation– there are no lawyers representing sides. The negotiations often fall on your and your spouse. Although it can be emotionally draining to negotiate while the divorce is so fresh, it certainly beats having to accept a judge’s verdict in the courtroom

To ease your nerves before entering divorce mediation negotiations, we’ve shared some preparative tips about goal-setting, being outcome-oriented, and more. 


Set Specific Divorce Mediation Goals

In any negotiation, be it over a divorce or a business deal, the first step is identifying both parties’ goals. Ask yourself what constitutes a “good” outcome in your divorce, highlight the issues you’re willing to compromise on and find out which aspects are most important to your spouse. Maybe you care more about holiday visitation to preserve traditions with the kids, as long as your partner calls the shots on where they attend school. By identifying these areas of compromise, you can ensure no road bumps are hit in the midst of a divorce mediation session. 


Slow Discussions to Stay Civilized

Whether you were married for months or decades, divorce can be painfully complicated–and rushing through the mediation process risks making things worse. Avoid hastiness by understanding all of the implications and consequences of your divorce agreement, from your parenting plan and visitation provisions to alimony amounts and schedules. Rushing through the mediation process risks costly mistakes, but by allowing yourself the time to assess where the divorce is headed, you can avoid pricey pitfalls.


Focus on the Outcome, Not the Process

As previously mentioned, knowing what a “good” outcome entails is a necessary first step in divorce mediation. However, the contention and disagreements that often occur can cause divorcees to lose sight of their goals. When this happens, be it a debate over alimony or visitation plans, staying on track is crucial. 

Maybe your “good” outcome is having more parenting time. In this case, aggressively negotiating over marital assets may not be the best call since you want those bargaining chips for when the discussion shifts to custody and visitation. Not every battle needs to be won, so stay focused on your personal mediation goals and strike an agreement that works for both parties. If you plan to co-parent, a fair and reasonable agreement is especially integral to a positive parenting relationship moving forward.

If you’re on the fence about divorce mediation and require answers, consult an Orange County divorce mediator to gain some direction. The Law Offices of Jennifer Owens specializes in all aspects of family law, including divorce mediation for Orange County families. Request a free consultation to see how we can help you get a fresh start.


Orange County Divorce Mediation Services

Through divorce mediation, you and your family can find a peaceful way forward. At the Law Offices of Jennifer Owens, we revel in the power of choice. When spouses face divorce, they’re presented with a slew of decisions with a handful of potential outcomes. Our attorneys are believers in the best possible outcome, where a former couple chooses peace over destruction so that they can finally move on to their next chapter. No matter your desired path – mediation, a negotiated settlement, or even litigation – The Law Offices of Jennifer Owens will help you achieve the best possible outcome by reaching a settlement that keeps all involved parties in mind. Visit our website to review our family law services, or contact us online for a free consultation

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