Contrary to popular belief, mediation isn’t a strictly peaceful process. It may be more collaborative than traditional divorce litigation, but mediating couples still retain some conflict that’s yet to be resolved. And while a trusted mediator can certainly move things along, it’s ultimately up to you to put your emotions aside for the sake of finalization.
To help you achieve a peaceful settlement through mediation, we’ve listed some tips for keeping things simple during your sessions. Take our advice into account, and if you’re searching for Orange County divorce mediation services, be sure to consult our office.
Orange County Divorce Mediation: Keeping Things Civil
Check Your Emotions
Throughout your mediation session, you’ll likely have to keep your emotions in check. Your spouse may say or do something that you think is incorrect or out of line, stoking a reaction out of you. Just remember to manage those reactions carefully since high tempers rarely solve problems.
You can do so by taking note of your triggers and planning accordingly. Preparing for this emotional aspect of your divorce will keep conflicting emotions out of the equation and finalize the process faster due to quicker settlements.
Divorce mediation in Orange County isn’t all sunshine and rainbows. While it’s often a quicker route to divorce, it’s not completely void of conflict. It’s important to remember that marital conflict is what led you to this point. Rather than carrying on with a closed mind, stay flexible with your thinking and consider all potential solutions – no matter how undesirable they sound at first.
You might disagree with your custody agreement, alimony amounts, or provisions within your parenting agreement, which are completely valid. If something isn’t agreeable, explain why in an objective manner, not from a place of emotion. It may also help to prepare alternative solutions that your mediator can look into.
Lastly, if you hope for a successful mediation with your spouse, be sure to moderate your behavior. You likely have negative comments and painful emotions to express, but now isn’t the time. Pushing your ex’s buttons during mediation is only counterproductive to the goal at hand: finalizing your divorce.
Here are a few general tips for controlling counterproductive behaviors during divorce mediation:
- Even if your thoughts are urgent, listen to your spouse without interrupting, and take notes so that you remember important points.
- Avoid insults, glaring, or disrespectfully sighing – these are just as bad as a verbal reaction. By remaining kind and respectful, your session can carry on smoothly.
- Rather than using “you” language that places blame, start your statements with “I believe” or “I need.” The use of “I” statements avoids scapegoating and puts the accountability on you alone.
- Take a short break if your emotions are too high to control. If you know your limits, and they’re being pushed, request a recess to collect your thoughts before carrying on.
If you’ve already begun the process of mediation, it’s crucial to keep things civil between you and your spouse. If mediation doesn’t pan out, litigation is often the next step – which brings upon new levels of stress and legal expenses. If you’re struggling to keep the peace during your sessions, contact The Law Offices of Jennifer Owens to carry out your Orange County divorce mediation.
Settle Civilly with Orange County Divorce Mediation
At the Law Offices of Jennifer Owens, we revel in the power of choice. When spouses face divorce, they’re presented with a slew of decisions with a handful of potential outcomes. Our attorneys are believers in the best possible outcome, where a former couple chooses peace over destruction so that they can finally move on to their next chapter. No matter your desired path – mediation, a negotiated settlement, or even litigation – The Law Offices of Jennifer Owens will help you achieve the best possible outcome by reaching a settlement that keeps all involved parties in mind. Visit our website to review our family law services, or contact us online for a free consultation.