Doing It For the Kids: OC Parents Put Children First In Divorce

children-first-in-divorceDivorce in Orange County can be a distinctively long and expensive process, though if any children are involved, costs are of a lesser priority. What many ex-spouses come to realize is that although their bond has been broken, the family must stay intact – and the best way to keep the family together is by putting your children first in divorce. It can be challenging to navigate the emotions of divorce, but thankfully, there are steps you can take to ensure the family stays together through it all. 


Keep the Family In Focus

A great first step to put children first in divorce is letting your children know that the divorce isn’t conducive to them, but between you and your spouse. Explain that while the marriage is over, the family is still together – and most importantly, make it clear that they’ll still spend time with both of their parents. Rather than dwelling on the divorce and tarnishing your child’s future outlook, staying focused on your time together and maintaining the status quo as a family is of the utmost importance. 


Exercise Hopeful Positivity

Divorce is emotional and is often fueled by contempt, which makes it all the more critical that you be intentional in how you talk about the divorce to your children. Voicing your harmfully honest thoughts, talking about the challenges faced by your family, or making negative comments about an ex-spouse can strike fear into your children. Instead, encourage questions and comments related to the separation, remain positive when quelling their fears, and of course, reaffirm your love and care for them as your child. No matter how much contempt is held, your child’s relational outlook deserves to be untouched, and protecting that outlook is just another way to put children first in divorce


Develop a Parenting Plan

In any divorce, be it mediation or litigation, a parenting plan is necessary for your child’s future. The best case scenario is being able to co-parent with your spouse, as discussed in a previous blog, so that your child’s future is decided between parents in a collaborative manner. Parenting plans should include custody schedules outlining how often your child sees each parent, along with communication guidelines for the non-custodial parent, or the parent whose children stay with them the least.


Maintain Your Support System

It’s easy to feel lonely during a divorce, or once it’s finalized. Although it’s an easy pitfall to trip over, do your best not to use your children as a venting partner for negative emotions. This ties back to exercising positivity and speaking about your ex-spouse carefully, so that your children are kept as far away from the divorce as possible. Instead of turning to your children for emotional support, reaching out to your network of friends or immediate family is suggested so that you can share your feelings without sharing too much with your little ones.


Prioritize Children First In Divorce with a Vetted Family Law Attorney

Divorce is an emotional journey to endure. On top of the bitterness and anger which often result from a formal separation, the subsequent legal battles tend to make the whole process even more painful. At the Law Offices of Jennifer Owens, we revel in the power of choice. When spouses face divorce, they’re presented with a slew of decisions with a handful of potential outcomes. Our attorneys are believers in the best possible outcome, where a former couple chooses peace over destruction, so that they can finally move onto their next chapter. We can help with that. No matter your desired path – mediation, a negotiated settlement, or even litigation – The Law Offices of Jennifer Owens will achieve the best possible outcome by reaching a settlement that keeps all involved parties in mind. Visit our website to review our family law services or contact us online for a free consultation

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