Are you stumbling through spousal support negotiations with your ex-partner? Don’t worry, it’s quite common. Emotions are often high during negotiations, rendering compromise that much harder to achieve. Here are five actionable tips for negotiating spousal support in California, from our team of expert mediators and divorce attorneys.
Keep Your Emotions Under Control
We know that spousal support is naturally triggering for both parties involved. However, negotiations should never be had while tempers are high. If relational conflict is getting in the way of productive discussions about your divorce, it’s best to wait until your heads have cooled before continuing negotiations.
Express Your Feelings Directly
Riding in line with the previous point, you’ll also want to clearly and civilly express any conflicting feelings you have. To do this, use the “I feel, you feel” method. Here’s an example: “I feel offended when you refuse to pay any spousal support. It makes it more difficult for me to care for our children, who you’re also responsible for. To suitably care for them, I’d like $1,500 per month.”
This is a much healthier way of communicating your feelings rather than letting hot heads take over.
Keep Your Ex In the Loop
Seeing as negotiations for spousal support in California require a bit of collaboration, it’s important to respect your ex’s time by keeping them well-informed. In other words, don’t make things more difficult for them, since a hindrance on their end means a longer timetable for you as well. Some examples include choosing negotiation times that fit their schedules, informing them of any important discussion points, and picking a time or environment that allows for calm negotiations.
Reasonable Requests Are Key
Along with remaining calm, it’s also beneficial to be reasonable with your spousal support request. Asking for $40,000 when your ex-partner brings in $70,000 per year, for example, isn’t a real compromise. Being willing to actually negotiate, rather than demand, is key for reaching a mutually beneficial solution.
Look for Solutions, Not Excuses
Both marriage and divorce, ironically, require a solution-oriented approach. With the past gone and your future ahead of you, now isn’t the time to cast blame or hostility on your ex-partner. Spousal support in California can either drain your account if taken to court or kept under control if negotiations are fruitful. Keep the overall goal in mind to achieve the latter. Parents often hone in on their children for shared inspiration to compromise during negotiations, since the outcome of a divorce can directly affect any children involved both now and down the line.
Settle Your Spousal Support In California with Jennifer Owens
Divorce is an emotional journey to endure. On top of the bitterness and anger which often result from a formal separation, the subsequent legal battles tend to make the whole process even more painful. At the Law Offices of Jennifer Owens, we revel in the power of choice. When spouses face divorce, they’re presented with a slew of decisions with a handful of potential outcomes. Our attorneys are believers in the best possible outcome, where a former couple chooses peace over destruction, so that they can finally move onto their next chapter. We can help with that. No matter your desired path – mediation, a negotiated settlement, or even litigation – The Law Offices of Jennifer Owens will achieve the best possible outcome by reaching a settlement that keeps all involved parties in mind. Visit our website to review our family law services or contact us online for a free consultation.